few and far between

The Lull – How Do I Stop This Thing? – The “Yes” Man

…pretty much sums up the frequency of my runs recently. And my blogs, for that matter. Although, I have a far more balanced exercise regime now. After struggling to fit in the training for the Royal Parks Half Marathon and the subsequent 13.1 miles, I was left with some unusual aches, pains and chafing – the result of altering my running style so I could actually feel my left leg below the knee during the race. In fact I’ve only managed 2 runs since – both of which were my “Sunday Morning Special” of about 6 and a half miles. I still have an ache in my right thigh which is noticeable when I start to run but soon disappears after a mile or so, so I don’t think it is too much to worry about.
But, I have been able to get some free weights sessions done – a happy by product of not wanting to run too much and also getting back home at a reasonable time at night for 1 week.

This week will be low not only on running but free-weights too -although there will be cycling as I am house-sitting and freelancing (conveniently) about 2 and half miles away from where I am staying. So Sunday evening, I packed up a weeks worth of stuff into my bag and cycled to the train station for the first part of my journey. I wanted to try out the fixed gear bike that I have cobbled together from bits out of a neighbours skip and various bargains on e-bay, so what better way than to use it for a week of commuting through the streets of London. Riding a fixie is a very different experience from riding a normal mountain or road bike. As the rear cog is fixed to the hub (i.e it does not rotate independently) it means that if the wheel is rotating, the pedals have to, too.
It takes a bit of concentration as the temptation to free-wheel up to a junction or traffic lights is a hard habit to break, but once you get used to pre-empting the stopping and using the pedals to help slow you down, it is a fun way of riding. The transmission is almost silent and the response from pushing on the pedal to the back wheel turning is instant. I never realised how much delay there is with a derailleur until I rode a bike without one!
Then, a 7 mile cycle from Kings Cross to my “home” for next 7 days, in the dark, with a weeks worth of clothing, a washbag, books, mp3 player etc strapped to my back was a bit of a trial by fire for the bike and I but it was fun… even if you do need to get up out of the saddle to get the thing moving from a standing start!
So, I am looking forward to catching up on a number of things that have been neglected over the past few weeks and months as I now have an extra 2 and a half hours in my day that is saved by my commute only being 15-20 mins each way. Unfortunately, freelancing means that I constantly have to say yes to everything. Not knowing where or when the next job is going to spring from, every offer is pounced upon.
“Do you want to spend over 3 hours commuting every day?” – Yes!!
“Do you want to do a job that you could do with your eyes closed for 8 hours every day” – Yes!!!! Yes!!!!
“Do you want to to accept a much lower wage than was agreed because Mr Weasel, the boss, thinks he can pay you less than was offered because you’re freelance and he thinks you must be desperate”… er, no, actually. Which is why I left a 2 week contract after 3 days. And I didn’t get paid for the 3 days I did work. And those are the downsides.
The upsides are that you get to work places that you wouldn’t normally, doing different parts of the same job, picking up different skills and meeting some fine people along the way. I swear I’ve learnt more in the past 3 months than I have in the previous 3 years so things could be a lot, lot worse.
So I’ve another week and a bit of this (back home at the weekend to see the familly for a big Halloween Night Out, my Sunday Morning Special and some time to chill out before coming back next Sunday evening for a couple of days). And then it’s back to the 3 hour round trip commute and trying to get a few quality training sessions in before the Willow 10k towards the end of November.

Sorry there’s not been much about running, but there’s not been a lot of running to blog about. C’est La Vie.

Soundtrack to this post: Radioactivity – Kraftwerk

royal parks half race report

Parklife – You Can’t, You Won’t And You Don’t Stop – The Nicest Pizza In The World

There was no-one on this train last year… just me, hunched in my seat, hood up, pretending I wasn’t on a train at just after 7am on a Sunday morning and about to run 13.1 miles in a couple of hours. This year there are at least 4 of us ( the tell-tale chip on the laces of the trainers marks us all out as members of this peculiar club) who get on at my stop and our ranks grow with every station visited. By Finsbury Park, we are about 30 strong and we march down to the tube. The first tube to arrive is so packed with runners, I cannot get on, so wait for the next, which is less packed but still predominantly runners with a few bemused civillians.
Leaving the tube at Hyde Park, I am delighted to find it drizzling mildly, and make my way with the rest of the be-trainered towards Hyde Park. Meeting up with Hauling My Carcass, who looks decidedly unhappy about standing in a damp London park a little after 8am on Sunday. Niceties exchanged, portaloo visited and then throw our stuff into our bags, dump them at the bag check and then loiter around until about 9.10 am when we funnel into our starting positions. Last year, we tried to position ourselves so that we were in the shadow of a tall block of flats near the start – it was hot and sunny and we were trying to stay in the shade. Today by comparison, was damp and a bit overcast – good conditions for a Half Marathon but not for standing around beforehand.
We were underway quite quickly and the throng soon spread out allowing us all to settle into our respective paces. I wanted to cover the first few miles between 8.30 – 8.50 pace and came through the first mile maker at around 8.47 mins per mile. the Garmin telling me that the mile marker was 1.15 miles in so reckoned that I was about where I needed to be. Hauling My Carcass was within 10 feet of me at all times and I was feeling relaxed and confident. All was well until I reached the 4 mile marker when a warm tingle started to make itself known beneath my left knee. I knew the feeling immediately as I had had the same thing happen during my training for last years Royal Parks. Oddly, it had not reappeared in over a year but had decided to rear it’s ugly head again. I tried to ignore it but knew what was probably going to happen next. The warm numbness begins to spread from just below the knee, down the front of my shin and into my foot. The whole of the bottom of my leg then goes numb and it becomes difficult to run as I can’t gauge at what point my foot is striking the floor. Suddenly, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to walk to see if the feeling came back but knew that if I stopped, it would be hard to start again. So I delivered myself an ultimatum… I would continue to run. I would not stop… I could slow a little to see if that helped but stopping was out of the question. If I stopped all manner of bad stuff would happen to me – and I would not allow myself to meet up with iliketocount and Jogblog for pizza afterwards. So now, with my new found incentives, I pushed on to mile 6 where the numbness started to subside. I was beginning to feel confident about completing the race but knew that I had lost between 2 and 3 minutes over the preceeding few miles and sub 2hrs was going to be almost impossible to acheive. I was still feeling pretty good around seven and a half miles when I was passed by a man dressed as a dalmation. The mp3 player was brought in to play at this point and the last 6 miles was run to the sound of The Prodigy, Crystal Method and the Run Lola Run soundtrack.
The last 5 miles are hard as they snake through Hyde Park, switching back on themselves and the last three quarters of a mile are psychologically hard – you know you’re close but there is an incline up the first part of the finishing straight and as you reach the brow the finish is off in the distance. And you run… and run… and run and the finish line doesn’t seem to get any closer.
And then it is closer. And you’re nearly there. And you cross the line in 2:02:44 and come to a gradual stop. And then feel dizzy and go over to the railings and hang on. And the nice man from St Johns Ambulance comes over and asks if you’re alright and you lie and say yes.

Hauling My Carcass got a pb and I didn’t walk. Result.

Bags collected and warm dry clothes exchanged for cold, damp sweaty ones, hook up with HMC’s LG and it was off to meet Shaun and Cathy. Shaun, it turns out, ran a blinder and you can read about here. A couple of drinks in a little pub a few hundred yards from Knightsbridge and then we all went for pizza. It was a great way to celebrate and we chatted and ate and drank for a very enjoyable couple of hours.

The Royal Parks Half is a great race. Roughly a 50/50 split between the street and sights of London Town and through the Parks. It’s well organised, plenty of loos, efficient bag stash and a food festival too. I will almost definitely be back next year.

Soundtrack to this post: Dark Entries – Bauhaus

no rest for the knackered

Where Did The Night Go – Dog Tired – Stop Whining And Get On With It

Just like Sesame Street would be “brought to you today by the letter ‘w’ and the number 4″, todays post is written under the influence of tiredness and self-doubt.

7 miles in the dark last Wednesday tripped by like they were hardly there, in fact the only reason I stopped was that I was hungry and didn’t want to find myself sitting down to dinner at 22.30h. Sunday morning’s run, on the other hand, was a shocker!! I’d planned to do approximately 10 miles but upon waking on Sunday morning, I believed someone must have played a cruel joke by winding my clock forward about 5 hours whilst I slept and getting the sun to rise much, much earlier than scheduled. I felt like I had just dozed off, that I had been in bed no more than half an hour. It had actually been 7 hours but still I awoke with my head feeling like it was packed with cotton wool and my body like it had been wrapped in the duvet then repeatedly hit with a sock full of coins. Toast and coffee did nothing to improve my demeanour, so a couple of paracetemol for the aching and the misguided belief that a run would clear my fuzzy head and off I set, quickly before my subconcious could think of a reason not to. So to cut a long story short, 3 miles in I stopped to walk. And again at 7 miles. My legs were heavy, my heart wasn’t in it. As I walked, I scowled at my pathetic weakness. 9 and a half miles were covered but only 7 and a half were run, the rest were spent shuffling along, muttering to myself and frowning.
The thing is, the Royal Parks Half is on Sunday. Last years Royal Parks Half was my first race and I set my pb for the Half Marathon. I feel it is my duty to beat my pb this year, with an additional years training and experience on a course that I know I can easily do sub 2hrs.
But I feel unprepared.
Last year, I was looking forward to the start of the race, this year I am looking forward to the end. My plan is to get in as much sleep as I can over the next few days, a quick interval session mid week and a short (20 mins) run Friday night to put Sundays rubbish run out of my mind. I know that nothing that I do now is going to make me any faster on race day, so I’ll just prepare as best I can and enjoy it on the day.

Soundtrack to this post: Ghost Rider – Suicide

rat race report – fear and loathing in london town

Everything But The Kitchen Sink – Money, Money, Money – Tasks, Challenges and Absurdities

Kit… a ridiculous amount of kit. Apart from what I was wearing there was the hydration pack, first aid kit, survival blanket, pen, mobile phone, 2 x “food” bars (everything so far compulsory), sunglasses, baseball cap, light shower proof jacket and Jelly Babies. All of this was packed into another backpack that would hold all my “normal” clothes to wear after the Rat Race. And it didn’t seem like too much considering we were told that registration started at 11am, to arrive early to ensure swift registration and then wait around until 3.30 for a compulsory briefing session, then another briefing at 4.45pm before the race started at 5p.m. So Hauling My Carcass and I were there bang on 11a.m., forms filled out, team name and number sorted (Team Name: “No Hair, Don’t Care”, Team Number: 453). Fortunately, we had arranged to skip hanging around and head back to HMC’s flat for lunch before getting back to Race HQ for our briefing. I say fortunately because a little investigation revealed that there were a pitiful amount of portaloos (approx 10 that I saw) for 1,000+ competitors and nowhere for bags to be stored. If I were a cynical blogger, I would point out that there was, however, a bungee jump (which you had to pay for), a beer tent ( obviously beer needs paying for), abseiling training (for which you pay), a coffee stall (coffee is NEVER free… so another paying opportunity)…. Hmmm… All activities that generate REVENUE. Not like toilets or a bag stash which are both SERVICES. Still, like I say, lucky I’m not a cynical blogger…

After lunch with HMC and his LG, it was a bit of a dash to get ourselves back for the 3.30 briefing and I have to say that it was an impressive sight… 1000 competitors gathered round all wearing identical black “Rat Race” running tops. Maps were studied against checkpoint locations, the queue for the (pitifully few) toilets avoided by ducking into a nearby cafe and asking nicely if we could use their facilities (incidentally, many cafes and restaurants were taking advantage of the situation by charging non- customers to use the loos) and then lurk around by the start for the last briefing before being let loose onto the streets of London. I was fairly nervous as I am not good at heights and was convinced that some of the challenges would involve climbing up things. Watching the continuous stream of bungee jumpers was not helping, so was glad for the race to be underway as I then had something else to concentrate on. The first few checkpoints were very congested as most people headed for them at the same time but after the first two, we seemed to disperse, like bleach in water, only occasionally spotting other teams running to or from the same checkpoints you were running to.

I honestly believed the running part of the race would be easy… How wrong I was. I thought that you would run a mile, do a challenge or swipe your tag at a checkpoint and then run another mile or so until the next one. The time taken whilst performing the task or swiping the tag allowing you to regain some energy. What actually happens is, once stopped, your legs don’t want to start again so after an hour, each checkpoint is a relief followed by a struggle to get going again. So… chests were shaved (HMC), pizza with extra chillis was eaten (me), a magnificent operatic karaoke rendition of Karma Chameleon was performed (both), some sprightly balancing / parkour undertaken (both), bowling (HMC), anagrams solved (both), a cavort in an inflatable ball pool (both), 11.53 miles covered and 269 points out of a possible 400 acheived.
It was dark by the time we got back to Rat Race HQ and people were heading out for their Saturday nights. To the lady who I ran slap bang into near Tower Bridge, I apologise. To HMC’s LG, for devotion above and beyond the call of duty for delivering our backpack and changes of clothes to us post-race from halfway across London, thanks. To the organisers, thanks for a great concept but it would have been better to see you devoting space to things that competitors actually need rather than what makes a tidy profit. All that remained was to retire to a proper London Boozer for a post race drink… In our goodie bags, we had a leaflet entitling us to a free pint at a particular pub. It was just a shame that the pub was closed for a private function! Having found an alternative drinking establishment, we quenched our thirst, discussed our aches, talked about the fun we’d had and guesstimated the distance we had covered. Unfortunately, the whole thing was tainted with the vaguest whiff of Greed.

Soundtrack to this post: The Bromley East Roller – Salmonella Dub

too little time…

Busy, Busy, Busy – Survival Of The Fittest? – Scaredy Rat

It seems that these days, the best I can do is one measly blog a week and for that I apologise. The freelance thing is ongoing and the commute that goes with it eats into my time at a point where I am also trying to do many things.The result being that I constantly feel that I am having to cram everything in to get those things done. And some things slip by the wayside… this week, for example, has been woefully lacking in running. The 4 training sessions that The Regime required of me this past 7 days were whittled down to 2 training sessions through a combination of tiredness and prior engagements. Although I did manage 1 good hour of free weights last week instead of one run and have just finished another hour tonight.

I did my intervals on Wednesday and really notice that the nights are drawing in. I was out by 7.30pm but within 20 minutes, it was too dark for me to train in the park so resorted to performing 3 and a half minute fast runs with a 30 second sprint finishes through the town centre. I must have looked fairly foolish but needed to get them done. Sundays run was 110 minutes so I was up early as the rest of the day was looking pretty packed. I also realised that, although I have had a hydration pack for a number of years, I’d only used it for all day mountain bike excursions and never actually used it whilst running. And I need to use a hydration pack for The Rat Race on Saturday so decided that I’d better get used to running with it. Fortunately, the 110 min run was to be at an easy pace so didn’t get too upset when I spent the first mile or so running and trying to adjust the straps on the hydration pack so that it didn’t move around. The first 2 or 3 miles were fairly uncomfortable and I think I found a compromise in my running style that meant I could still run (fairly slowly) without the pack moving around too much. Although no amount of adjustment seemed to stop the right hand strap from sandpapering away at my shoulder every time I tried to pick up the pace a little bit. So a relatively unimpressive 11 and a half miles in 110 minutes but with the additional weight of 2 litres of water swishing around on my back and one of the straps sawing away at my flesh, I wasn’t expecting too much more.

The remainder of my Sunday was spent with Mrs eatingtrees, SonNumberOne and SonNumberTwo at the newly opened Darwin Centre in the Natural History Museum. I was surprised that there were not more people there considering it had only opened 3 days earlier and we walked around with only a handful of others. It seems to be suffering from a few teething problems… most of the exhibits are interactive and some of the touch screen displays had stopped working. Also, the content that you “collect” on a card whilst in the museum to view on your pc at home, isn’t functioning yet on the website but I am sure that these things will be sorted soon enough. But, it is still worth a visit if you’re around South Kensington – the “coccoon” structure is in itself very impressive and the inside of the gallery well laid out and interesting.

So, last week was pretty packed and this week seems to be shaping up to be similarly full. I am really looking forward to Saturdays Rat Race… it will be unlike anything I have attempted before and am sure that it will enjoyable and perhaps a little frightening. I am not particularly good with heights and there has been mention on the website of “abseiling”… Hmmm! Still, we should be well equipped though as there is a compulsory requirement that we all carry water, energy bars, a first aid kit and a survival blanket…

Soundtrack to this post: Release The Pressure – Leftfield

tired and emotional

Time Of In Lieu – A Quickie – Bike Building And Bristols Finest

Another week of the big commute has seen me struggle to fit in all my training that The Regime requires. In fact I bailed on Wednesday nights intervals as once I (finally) got home, I was struggling to keep my eyes open. Ordinarilly, I would have tried to get out to run quickly before I had time to think about what I was doing, but on this occasion I felt I had worked hard at The Garden City 10 earlier that week and needed a day off.
Friday nights “30 minute steady run” then metamorphosised into one of my beloved “after dark” runs. I didn’t want to take the Garmin and also left my wristwatch at home so I don’t know how far I ran of for how long – I just felt I wanted to get out and run around until I didn’t feel like running around anymore. So that is what I did – the pace felt fairly quick but who knows…

Sundays run was 10k at “race pace”. I got up early to get out and back before the rest of the world woke up and it was very pleasant. It’s been a long time since I’ve got out for an early run and I really enjoyed it. I was feeling very relaxed on the run, finding my stride quite quickly and after a little while, I’d convinced myself that I was running at a good speed and still had some energy so tried to push a little harder. As I neared the 7.5km mark, I also realised that if I could keep up my pace, I might actually beat my pb for the 10k that I set back in May. The last kilometre felt quite hard but finished in 53:33 – 2 minutes and 2 seconds inside my personal best which I was very pleased with. Seems that The Regime does bring results. The intervals have certainly made me faster over 10k than I was but feel I need to work on distance and stamina as the last couple of miles of the Garden City 10 were tough.

So, all in all, a good week. I have had my freelance job extended until the end of October, I have started work on building a fixed gear bike and spent my Saturday afternoon lovingly dismantling a perfectly good push bike to cannibalise for the fixie. A 10k pb today and I’m off to see Massive Attack on Friday. Maybe things are looking up…
Soundtrack to this post: Kashmir – Led Zeppelin

garden city 10 – disorientation

OK Commuter – Playing At Home – Mission Accomplished

It’s been a while since I blogged as, after my last post (over a week ago!), I got a call asking if I wanted a month of freelance work which I jumped at.
And I am really enjoying it – the place is cool and all the people are good folk. The only problem is that it takes me an hour and a half each way to get there and back. And it’s not a nice “read a book or nod off on the train” type commute. Oh no, it’s 30 miles straight into the centre of the City of London and out the other side.
In rush hour.
On a motorbike.
Which takes an awful lot of concentration and means that I leave home before 7.30 in the morning and get home after 7.30 at night, which doesn’t leave a lot of time for fatherhood, training, blogging or any of the other things that we all struggle to fit into our days.

Having said that, I have been following The Regime and had also been trying to tailor it with last Sundays inclusion in the Garden City 10. I had been looking forward to this race for some time – I grew up in Welwyn Garden City, so I was, in effect, running on my home turf. Also, at 10 miles, it is a good distance – longer than a 10k but not yet a Half Marathon and fitted right in with where The Regime says I should be. And a last minute decision by Hauling My Carcass to join me (rather than tackle his scheduled Half Marathon) meant it also became a bit of a day out what with Mrs eatingtrees, SonNumberOne, SonNumberTwo and HMC’s LG all attending.

The race itself is unusual in that it is basically 2 loops around the Industrial Area of Welwyn Garden City. After leaving the school field, you quickly find yourself running through a succession of subways, cycle paths and residential streets, switching back on yourself and disappearing into an underpass only to reapper a moment later on the opposite side of the road. I know the town well, having spent almost 20 years living there, and even I found I it hard to keep track of where we were. Anybody expecting to see the “sights” of Welwyn Garden City will be disappointed as the race stays well away from the town centre and many of the prettier parts of town. The two loops are quite comfortable at around 5 miles each (there’s a slight deviation at the start and finish but it is basically the same route) and you head back round for the second lap knowing that you’re half way and that there are no surprises ahead. Someone I spoke to after the race criticised it for being “a dull route” but then added that she also ran it last year so… surely if it was soooo dull, you wouldn’t feel the urge to repeat it? Who knows???

All I can say is that I found the whole thing very organised and enjoyable, the race HQ was in a local secondary school so there were plenty of toilets, plenty of parking,friendly marshalls, a good bag storage facility and refreshments from the school canteen. Add to this that there was a 1k race for kids that took place on the school field whilst the main race was in progress and that the 10 mile looped round in such a way that if you were a spectator, you could see the runners loop past 4 times without moving more than 200 yards from the school, everyone was kept entertained.
And they announced your name over the tannoy as you finished. Nice.

I did enjoy it although I did find it hard. The quick succession of a descent into an underpass and then the ascent out of it made my legs tire quickly. It was also the first time in a long while I had tried to run that sort of distance at a race pace. I’d aimed to run it at consistent 9 minute miles meaning I should have finished dead on 1 hour 30 mins.
My actual time was 1:30:18.

Soundtrack to this post – Downpressor Man – Sinead O’Connor

personal trainer

Doing As I’m Told – MiniMotivator – Fast Enough?

I’ve been a bit more law-abiding regarding The Regime over the past few days. First came a Pyramid Interval session a couple of days ago… basically run for 3 mins, then 5 mins, then 7 mins, then 5 mins, then 3 mins with 90 second slow recovery between. The less said about these, the better. They sound fairly easy but the 7 minute session wiped me out and the last 2 sessions were difficult to complete.

Todays session, although 1 day late, was a 55 min run – 5 min warm up, 20 mins at race pace, 5 min slow, 20 mins at race pace and 5 min warm down. Once again, I took SonNumberOne with me on his bike and explained that I would start off slowly, then speed up for a bit, slow down briefly, speed up again and then slow down before finishing. Now, it would appear that my son has a hidden talent… as a cruel and vindictive Drill Sergeant. Once the pace had increased and I was pushing quite hard, the questions started, and not just ordinary questions…

SN1 – “Have you started the fast bit yet?”
ET – “(pant)Uh(pant)Huh!”
SN1 – “But you’re not running very fast”
ET – “(pant) I am going quite (pant) fast. It’s (pant) hard for me to talk (pant)”
SN1 – “This isn’t very fast… it isn’t… look…”
At which point he pedalled a bit faster and overtook me, triumphantly humming the theme from Raiders Of The Lost Ark and shattering my fragile ego.

Next on the agenda is a 90 min easy run with a 15 min push at the end – I am due to do this tomorrow but may shift it back to Monday, what with it being a Bank Holiday and all. It should be a good indicator of how I’ll fare in the Garden City 10 in a weeks time as I reckon I should be able to do 10 miles in 90 mins, which I know is not particularly fast for a lot of folk, but it’s pretty fast for me.

Incidentally, I was recently sent a link to the Adidas Running Hub. It appears to be pretty new as content is sparse at the moment but is an interesting idea as it has running related articles, links, the odd video and, perhaps most importantly, the chance for some to test Adidas trainers and give feedback. Which means that not only should some of you be able to get some free shoes to try but hopefully, the feedback submitted will help provide better designed shoes for the everyday runner and not just the elite athlete.

Soundtrack to this post: Police & Thieves – Junior Murvin

something to prove

Out Of Practice – Homecoming – How Much Will I Hurt Tomorrow

With Hard As Snails out of the way, the realisation that I am about to enter my busiest period of the year race wise has dawned on me. What else has dawned on me is that in 12 days time I shall be running the Garden City 10.

Apart from the obvious personal nostalgia value (it is the town I grew up in), it will also be the first time I have run 10 miles in a very long time. The Schedule is gearing me up for the Royal Parks Half in October but up until now, I have been doing intervals and shorter runs. This stood me in good stead for the 10k last weekend but I woke this morning a bit fearful that I may not actually be able to run 10 miles.

I decided that the only way to prove to myself that I could run 10 miles was to go out and run roughly 10 miles. So I did.

I had a fairly good idea of the route I should take and that I wasn’t intending to run it at race pace as my legs were still ruined from the weekends efforts. The first 10km passed fairly uneventfully but I was 30 seconds off my PB time so I think the intervals and speedwork must be making a difference. From about 12km onwards I noticed I started to tire fairly rapidly although I completed 9.25 miles in 1:25:22 which puts me about on track for a sub 2 hour Half Marathon – something I haven’t managed since the last Royal Parks Half thanks to a long spell of injury and recovery.

So, confidence restored and with no idea how much my already vandalised legs will ache tomorrow, I can sleep well tonight knowing that I may not do it very quickly but I should at least be able to complete my next race.

Soundtrack to this post: Amulet – Natacha Atlas

hard as snails 10k race report

Early Start – The Hills, The Horror – Not Last

After a magnificent vegetable curry and a fitful nights sleep ( a touch of “pre-match nerves” and sleeping in the unfamiliar surroundings of Hauling My Carcass’s spare room) it was up and out by 7am to get to Hard As Snails. The website had said that the car park would open at 7.30 and we arrived promptly at 7.29. A bit of a loiter and then we decided to beat the rush and get registered early. Not a bad idea as once registered, we sat in the car and watched the field slowly fill with cars, and fretted that everyone else looked far fitter than us and that we may actually come in last.

During our discussions the previous evening over curry, we had decided the race was such a wild card that we couldn’t hope for a personal best and that we would instead run it together and give each other a bit of support and motivation. Hauling My Carcass has been plagued with niggly injuries since the end of May and I have had a very sore calf since I started interval training – we’d agreed that just finishing was what counted. And even if we were last, we would both be last so could share the humiliation.

About 8.45 we crossed the road and made our way to the start. After a quick speech through a megaphone, the start of the race was signalled by a quick “3…2…1…Go!” and we were off, shuffling through the start gate and breaking into a trot only to break back into a shuffle moments later as we all slowly trudged up the wood / mud steps that signalled the start of the first incline. About 100 metres later and we were on solid, steep ground and the running proper began. We twisted up the trail, not too steep but enough to take the air from your lungs and cause some people to start walking with the first 500 metres. Which psychologically made me feel better… In my minds eye, everyone else who had entered this race was a seasoned hill runner who demolished inclines like they were not even there. Seeing people walking up the first hill indicated that I might not actually be the last to cross the line. The trail flattened momentarilly, just long enough for you to think that perhaps it’s not going to be so bad after all before beginning to rise again. Indeed, the first 3k follows this pattern – climbing fairly steeply followed by a slight drop or levelling out before climbing again. My breathing and that of everyone around me was becoming heavier, the calves were beginning to ache, HMC wanted to stop and stretch his calves and I took the time to massage my left calf a little – I was still sore from intervals and a few practice inclines two days prior. Then we were off again back up the hill. The soil is very sandy. Very, very sandy in places and it absorbs a lot of the power in the stride, it feels like you are running on a beach and if you have ever run on a beach you will know how much extra effort is required just to maintain a reasonable pace. At 4km, I checked my Garmin and noted that I had taken the same time to do 4k as I had to run 5k in training!

Turning the corner of the field, this thought was soon wiped from my mind by the sight of the trail in front of us going up, up, up through a cornfield and disappearing into some woodland where you could just see glimpses of those in front making their way up. At this point hardly anyone was running. The incline was at least 45 degrees, probably more, so the preferred method was either a walk or a slow trudge. The brave few who attempted to run had my admiration as they passed me at a snails pace, teeth gritted, brows furrowed.

Once at the top, there were brilliant views to be had although I doubt many were able to fully appreciate them as another slightly less steep incline followed. Just as it looked as if it may be flattening out, you rounded a bend and glimpsed the path turning entirely to sand and rising sharply right in front of you. Like me, almost everyone around me chose to walk this. Once at the top, I realised that we were roughly halfway and a few encouraging words from the marshalls was all we needed to be back off and running again.

A water point at 5k and then, fortunately, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction so at this point the course started to become mostly downhill. I picked up the pace and careered recklessly down the track, skidding in the sandy soil and hopping and picking my way through tree roots, ducking and dodging branches. Parts of the course were familiar as we had run this on the outward leg and were now running back the opposite way. The running became easier as gravity was now on my side, but I was now having to completely focus on staying upright on the uneven surface and each foot strike was sending judders through my tired legs and up into my spine.

Strangely, I was beginning to enjoy this now, I knew I still had energy to run the remainder at a reasonable pace and once the ground became firmer, was eager to get to the finish. Past the 8km marker and I’m feeling good. The 9km marker appears soon after and I check my Garmin. The Garmin says 8.7km and the dilemma is… Is it the Garmin that’s wrong or the kilometre markings. I can pick up the speed for 1 km but don’t know if the remaining kilometre is actually 1.3kms. There are a few people at the sides of the trail now, some spectators and some runners who have already finished all shouting encouraging words. Hauling My Carcass misses his footing, goes over on his ankle, and grabs onto me for support, swearing loudly. Spectators who weren’t paying attention suddenly turn to see what has caused the outburst of expletives, realise it’s just two red faced blokes with no hair stumbling down the hill and go back to what they were doing. But we are close to the finish now so just grit our teeth and carry on. The finish line appears and it is a very sharp right turn to get over the line and back to the spot we started from.

And that was it. We’d done it. We hadn’t failed. And, importantly, we weren’t last. Once the realisation that it was over had worn off, the finish seemed a bit of an anticlimax. We helped ourselves to a free banana from a box on the floor and got a cup of water from the dispenser and then… turned and walked back to the car. I had predicted that I would complete it in about 1:10:00 but by our combined efforts at timing ourselves, we reckon we finished in 1:07:22 which I was happy with.

Overall, a great race. Very challenging and physically tougher than any of my previous races. The marshalling was good, good-natured and encouraging throughout the course, congratulatory at the tops of the climbs. The distance markers seemed a bit random, the timing slightly off (our times show on the website 20 seconds slower as the timing chip didn’t seem to allow for the time taken to get to the start line once the clock had started) and the activity at the finish line a bit of an anticlimax but these are small niggles. The course is unlike anything I have tackled before, the views amazing and the sense of achievement and relief at the end worth the effort.

Soundtrack to this post: Government Land – Horace Andy